I just dropped Jack of at school less than 30 minutes ago. Suddenly my phone rings and I notice on my caller ID that Jack's school is calling. This can't be good. My mind starts racing thinking of the possibilities. He seemed okay this morning so I would be surprised if he got sick within 30 minutes of being there. Then I started thinking perhaps he had an accident. Yes, that must be it so I grabbed the phone and here is what took place:
Me (frantically): "Hello?"
School Spokesperson: "Hi, Jen? It's me, XX from the school."
Me: "Hi there..."
SS: "Everything is okay. Jack is okay but I wanted to call you to tell you about an "incident" we had this morning with Jack."
Me (thinking- Oh man, he did have an accident. I wonder if there was blood.) "OK..."
SS: "Jack was up in the loft area this morning with another boy..."
Me (thinking- OMG he must have fallen off the loft. Surely there is blood and lots of it. I wonder where the ambulance took him.) "Uh huh..."
SS: "And the boys decided they wanted to pretend they were going potty."
Me: (thinking- ok no accident so that is great but I have a feeling the rest of this conversation is going to be somewhat awkward) "Uh huh..."
SS: "So the boys pulled their pants down and started to pretend to go potty and the teacher saw them and stopped it."
Me: "Um, wow. Sorry about that."
SS: "No, don't be sorry. I'm sure it was innocent. But we sat them down and discussed how you only go potty in the potty..."
Me: (thinking- Great. Now she thinks we are a bunch of savages that let Jack pee willy nilly all around the house) "Right."
SS: "And that you should keep your pants on at all times."
Me: (thinking- And the hits just keep on coming. She apparently also thinks we let Jack run around here like we live in a nudist colony. Even if I was open to walking around naked, Megan has definitely humbled me in that area since she makes a point every time she sees me in my underwear to tell me it's "disgusting") "Sure..."
SS: "So we just wanted to call you to make you aware of the situation because we are sure it will be a topic of conversation at your house tonight."
Me: (trying to get off the phone as soon as possible) "Great. Thanks for calling. I appreciate it."
So there you have it. Definitely one of the top 5 calls I never want to get from Jack's preschool and it happened. I'm sure it was innocent just like the school said but I can't help but be left with visions of those two little boys, half naked, probably standing way too close to each other and the teachers look of shock on her face.