Tomorrow we are embarking on a family vacation. I am both excited and anxious for the trip.
I'm excited to get away for a few days. I'm excited at the thought of relaxing, of reading the new David Sedaris book and to slather on SPF 50 and lay in the sun by the pool and not get fried to a crisp (fingers crossed).
But this is our first family vacation in a few years. We haven't had, how shall I say this nicely...the best luck in the family vacation department. We are 3 for 3 in hospital or emergency care facility visits. And our vacations tend to include vomit as a staple of the trip. A brief recap, if you will:
Trip 1 Disney World- Jack started vomiting on day two of the trip and I ended up spending the night in the hospital with him so he didn't die of dehydration and Roto Virus. He then proceeded to crap his way through the entire trip. Our hotel room smelled like poo, heck we all smelled like poo and by the last day of our trip, Jack ran out of clothes so he was running around for a time in his diaper (classy, I know). I ended up stealing towels from the hotel to put on our laps during the plane ride so his poop wouldn't leak through onto our pants.
Trip 2 Adventureland/Nebraska- Day two Megan got very sick, very fast. Seeing as I have some, um hypochondriac issues that I've transferred to my children, I ended up convincing Jay that I thought Megan had West Nile Virus (she didn't). So off we went to the hospital where Megan proceeded to vomit all over the emergency room floor.
Trip 3 Phoenix- Standing on the jetway to get on the plane, Megan turned to me and said, "Mommy I'm not feeling so good." She then puked all over the jetway. And she puked. And she puked. Every 20 minutes like clockwork for the entire plane ride. I had a stack of the vomit bags and just pulled one out every 20 minutes. But I was also having flashbacks at that point to trip 1 where Jack was dehydrated so after every puke, I forced Megan to drink something thereby ensuring she had more to actually puke in 18 minutes. I think it was at puke number 8 where I wasn't able to get the vomit bag ready in time so Megan ended up vomiting all over my leg. I turned around to Jay (who was sitting in the row behind me with Jack trying as hard as he could to act like he wasn't with us at that point) and said, "Can you smell that?" His response- "Oh Yeah!"
Once we got to Phoenix, Megan bounced back after day 2. However, Jack woke up with rash all over his body and at 2 years old, he was asking to go see a doctor. So off we went to the emergency care facility and it turned out he had a double ear infection.
Trip 4- Oh wait, there hasn't been a trip 4 yet because after trip 3 I swore off any further family vacations in order to keep my sanity intact. After trip 3, we were talking to neighbors about our trip and Jay (who always sees the bright side of things) actually told them we had a nice trip. I think it was at that point that I got whiplash because my head spun around so fast to see if he was joking. He wasn't. I looked at him in disbelief and asked him what trip he was on because we obviously had not been on the same vacation.
I'm hoping this time, this one time, we can escape without seeing anyone in a white lab coat. So for the last few days, I've been studying my kids every move, every sniffle, every cough for a sign...any sign. I am hopeful that this may be our year. But I've packed an entire medicine cabinet- just in case.