Sunday, October 26, 2008

The birds and the bees...Megan style

Megan and I haven't had The Talk yet. But I'm sure it will be coming...soon. After all, by the time I was seven, I had already asked quite loudly at Thanksgiving dinner where babies came from. My mother gave me the evil eye and said through clenched teeth, "We'll talk about it later!". To me, *later* meant the moment that she got up to run to the bathroom. I vaguely recall following her and sitting across from her while she was on the toilet. "Okay. I'm ready to hear about it now," I stated and patiently waited. So there it was. My sex talk. In my grandmother's bathroom. On Thanksgiving. With my mother still sitting on the toilet.

I can't recall the specifics of what she said. I just know it was pretty clinical in nature and when she finished, I had two questions for her.

#1- Do you and Dad do that???
#2- Can I watch???

Megan on the other hand, hasn't been as adamant about knowing the specifics on the whole deal. Which in a way is shocking to me because she's very detailed about most other things. But up to this point, she's been satisfied knowing that:

a) Babies grow in the mom's tummy.
b) There is a special hole where the babies come out.

That's it. No questions about where the special hole is- actually that's not true. She did ask once and I pretended like I didn't hear her. And she didn't even think to ask how, if at all, the Dad factors into the equation.

Anyway, I overheard a conversation Megan had with Jack that has left me wondering if I shouldn't take the bull by the horns, so-to-speak and set the record straight. The conversation went as follows:

Jack: I'm not going to have any kids when I grow up.
Megan: What? No kids? Well, are you going to get married Jack?
Jack: Yeah. I'm going to get married.
Megan: Well then Jack, you might have kids. People who are married don't get to choose.
Jack (pondered this for a moment): Will my wife get to choose?
Megan: No. It just happens.

So that is where we are at with babies in our family-You have to be married, you may or may not have them, and you don't get to choose. I still haven't formulated what exactly I'm going to say to her. I want to be specific enough that she gets it but not so specific that it's TMI (too much information). I'm looking for suggestions on how to handle- Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? Bueller?


Carolyn...Online said...

I decided that I would just always talk about it because I knew that I would be too nervous to sit down and do the whole talk all at one time. So I have always told my girls pretty much everything. This has backfired. I won't say why, because it has embarassed me on many occassions, but let's just say that you don't want advice from me.

Ms Picket To You said...

I am the opposite of Carolyn. I have said very, very little -- never used the words Stork or anything but lots of of "hmmmm? good question!" and luckily, I haven't had many. But with a 4th grader who will get the health talk in the Spring at school, I know my time is coming. Like in January. I have been told that the American Girl doll book is a good one and dammit, I might as well memorize it because I might need to do a shot beforehand.

I still remember my own mother cringing and struggling when when we had the "talk." I guess its in the genes.

Lori said...

Umm- maybe I should mention NOW that when Billy and I gave Jack a ride in the car ( the farm ) he asked us, "Are you guys going to have babies that will be my cousins?" uhh.... I don't think so Jack. But Maybe. "Why??" Uhh... don't know. "Okay- wanna see my Baukgan?" He will probably ask before she does.

franticallyheidi said...

Love your mother's "the talk"! Hee!
I just blogged about this very subject last month. Here's what I said to my girl:
Good luck!

Badass Geek said...

I never got the talk from my parents. I'm thinking that they thought I would just figure it out on my own... A sort of passive-aggresive self-reliance thing.