Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The silver lining to a day filled with otherwise awkward moments.

My day started with a work out and a trip to Starbucks. I am in Austin, TX this week for work and this morning, I casually walked out of Starbucks with my grande skim white chocolate mocha-no whipped cream (which I realize is *totally* contradictory that I get skim milk and no whipped cream but have chocolate in my coffee). There was a homeless woman sitting outside the Starbucks and when I walked out with my coffee, she went all freaky-deaky on me. She started screaming about how Starbucks is a government conspiracy and proceeded to follow me down the street. I kept on walking and didn't look back. I just kept thinking, Do NOT make eye contact. She WILL kill you. I just figured in my "professional" opinion (I do have a major in Sociology with about 15 hours towards a Master's degree in Psychology) that she was Schizophrenic.

My work day was relatively uneventful except for a minor awkward moment prior to a presentation I was giving. I made the comment that, "I realize that my presentation is the only thing standing between you and lunch." A word of advice- probably not the best move to point that out when prior to that moment, no one actually realized that I was the only thing standing between them and lunch.
In my defense, I wasn't on my "A" game because at that moment, I still had my mind on the fact that I had just flushed a visitor badge down the toilet. Oh, sorry. Let me back up for a moment. Prior to my presentation, I planned to do two things:
1) Stop off in the ladies room.
2) Stop by the front desk to drop off the visitor badge I was carrying.
So I wouldn't forget the badge, I put it in my pocket and didn't think anything of it. So I stopped in the bathroom, did my "business", and as I turned around to flush the toilet, plunk! The visitor badge flew out of my pocket and fell into the toilet. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a loyal employee and all but sorry- no way I was going to stick my hand in there and retrieve the badge. So I thought, Maybe if I flush the toilet, the badge won't flush but the er... *liquid" will. As I stood for a second staring over the bowl, I convinced myself that it was a brilliant plan and then I could just reach in, grab the badge, wash my hands 15 times, and turn in the badge just like I had originally planned. So, I pushed down the lever- FLUSH- bye bye badge. Hmmm, wasn't quite sure what to do at that point other than to fully confess so I wandered up to the front desk.

"Hey," I said to the lady at the desk and tried to lean casually on the counter.

"Can I help you?" she said pleasantly.

"Uh, yeah, well- here's the thing, I was coming to turn in a visitor badge for someone (gulp) only I don't actually have it anymore. This is going to sound strange but I uh, actually flushed the badge down the toilet by mistake so um, (gulp)I won't be turning in the badge."

She looked at me for a moment and smirked and said, "How long did it take you to get up the courage to come and admit that?"

"Yeah, I know," I conceded. "I'm leaving today to go back to Chicago so I figured I would tell you now and it would be a long time before I'd ever have to look you in the face again."

Luckily for me, she was lovely about it.

As a side note- I have been buoyed by the fact that BlogHer 09 is in CHICAGO this summer! And I've been imagining what it might be like to attend BlogHer since last summer. I think I might just have to get over my aversion to socially awkward situations, get on my invisible glasses and head on downtown to (gulp) network!

9 comments:

LilSass said...

Hold the phone! Hold the phone, hold the phone. You dropped it in the toilet, realized this and THEN decided to flush? Um, I don't even think I have words for this. That is friggin comedy. I once dropped my iPod in a toilet full of pee and I damn near dove into that thing to fish it out. Granted I also laughed so hard I almost pee'd myself, even though I had already pee'd. You clearly don't know how to make a sacrifice, lady

Badass Geek said...

I did that with a pair of sunglasses once. They were in my shirt pocket, and took a kamikaze nose dive into the toilet when I leaned over to flush.

I had the same logic as you, but it turns out that public toilets have much more flushing power than normal household ones do.

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh man. There's nothing like a toilet with enough power to consume a visitor's badge.

Twenty-Something said...

hahaha nice. I do awkward very well, it comes from the fact that awkward stuff happens to me all. the. time.

I love that you went up to the front desk and told her. I totally would have lied!

Ms Picket To You said...

i've dropped cell phones, sunglasses and once a wine glass into the potty.

if it happens at blogher, i am coming to get you for moral support.

Ms Picket To You said...

also, I just re-read your carolyn guest post. it's even funnier now.

Amy said...

Oh my. That was funny. Was it just a split second btw the realize of the drop and the flush or did time elapse?
Did you ever read David Sedaris "Me Talk Pretty"
He has a very funny little story about a bathroom incident at a dinner party. Yours is much nicer, but still, a good bathroom story. It's rainy here. That made me laugh. :)

bernthis said...

I have to say, I think your plan was a good one. However, never underestimate the suction power of a commercial toilet. LOL

Skye said...

You should totally go to BlogHer.