Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The silver lining to a day filled with otherwise awkward moments.

My day started with a work out and a trip to Starbucks. I am in Austin, TX this week for work and this morning, I casually walked out of Starbucks with my grande skim white chocolate mocha-no whipped cream (which I realize is *totally* contradictory that I get skim milk and no whipped cream but have chocolate in my coffee). There was a homeless woman sitting outside the Starbucks and when I walked out with my coffee, she went all freaky-deaky on me. She started screaming about how Starbucks is a government conspiracy and proceeded to follow me down the street. I kept on walking and didn't look back. I just kept thinking, Do NOT make eye contact. She WILL kill you. I just figured in my "professional" opinion (I do have a major in Sociology with about 15 hours towards a Master's degree in Psychology) that she was Schizophrenic.

My work day was relatively uneventful except for a minor awkward moment prior to a presentation I was giving. I made the comment that, "I realize that my presentation is the only thing standing between you and lunch." A word of advice- probably not the best move to point that out when prior to that moment, no one actually realized that I was the only thing standing between them and lunch.
In my defense, I wasn't on my "A" game because at that moment, I still had my mind on the fact that I had just flushed a visitor badge down the toilet. Oh, sorry. Let me back up for a moment. Prior to my presentation, I planned to do two things:
1) Stop off in the ladies room.
2) Stop by the front desk to drop off the visitor badge I was carrying.
So I wouldn't forget the badge, I put it in my pocket and didn't think anything of it. So I stopped in the bathroom, did my "business", and as I turned around to flush the toilet, plunk! The visitor badge flew out of my pocket and fell into the toilet. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a loyal employee and all but sorry- no way I was going to stick my hand in there and retrieve the badge. So I thought, Maybe if I flush the toilet, the badge won't flush but the er... *liquid" will. As I stood for a second staring over the bowl, I convinced myself that it was a brilliant plan and then I could just reach in, grab the badge, wash my hands 15 times, and turn in the badge just like I had originally planned. So, I pushed down the lever- FLUSH- bye bye badge. Hmmm, wasn't quite sure what to do at that point other than to fully confess so I wandered up to the front desk.

"Hey," I said to the lady at the desk and tried to lean casually on the counter.

"Can I help you?" she said pleasantly.

"Uh, yeah, well- here's the thing, I was coming to turn in a visitor badge for someone (gulp) only I don't actually have it anymore. This is going to sound strange but I uh, actually flushed the badge down the toilet by mistake so um, (gulp)I won't be turning in the badge."

She looked at me for a moment and smirked and said, "How long did it take you to get up the courage to come and admit that?"

"Yeah, I know," I conceded. "I'm leaving today to go back to Chicago so I figured I would tell you now and it would be a long time before I'd ever have to look you in the face again."

Luckily for me, she was lovely about it.

As a side note- I have been buoyed by the fact that BlogHer 09 is in CHICAGO this summer! And I've been imagining what it might be like to attend BlogHer since last summer. I think I might just have to get over my aversion to socially awkward situations, get on my invisible glasses and head on downtown to (gulp) network!


LilSass said...

Hold the phone! Hold the phone, hold the phone. You dropped it in the toilet, realized this and THEN decided to flush? Um, I don't even think I have words for this. That is friggin comedy. I once dropped my iPod in a toilet full of pee and I damn near dove into that thing to fish it out. Granted I also laughed so hard I almost pee'd myself, even though I had already pee'd. You clearly don't know how to make a sacrifice, lady

Badass Geek said...

I did that with a pair of sunglasses once. They were in my shirt pocket, and took a kamikaze nose dive into the toilet when I leaned over to flush.

I had the same logic as you, but it turns out that public toilets have much more flushing power than normal household ones do.

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh man. There's nothing like a toilet with enough power to consume a visitor's badge.

Twenty-Something said...

hahaha nice. I do awkward very well, it comes from the fact that awkward stuff happens to me all. the. time.

I love that you went up to the front desk and told her. I totally would have lied!

Ms Picket To You said...

i've dropped cell phones, sunglasses and once a wine glass into the potty.

if it happens at blogher, i am coming to get you for moral support.

Ms Picket To You said...

also, I just re-read your carolyn guest post. it's even funnier now.

Amy said...

Oh my. That was funny. Was it just a split second btw the realize of the drop and the flush or did time elapse?
Did you ever read David Sedaris "Me Talk Pretty"
He has a very funny little story about a bathroom incident at a dinner party. Yours is much nicer, but still, a good bathroom story. It's rainy here. That made me laugh. :)

bernthis said...

I have to say, I think your plan was a good one. However, never underestimate the suction power of a commercial toilet. LOL

Skye said...

You should totally go to BlogHer.