Saturday, December 27, 2008

The post Christmas mini meltdown and the surprising amount of swearing in A Christmas Story

Usually, I tend to romanticize Christmas. I liken it to childbirth in some ways; the more time that passes, I seem to forget the excruciating pain of the previous year's decorating, cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, or the relative that drinks too much, etc. So by October or November, I've completely forgotten and am looking forward to the upcoming Christmas season with eager anticipation. I have to say, I think this year lived up to my romantic expectations. My sister-in-law captured it perfectly in her blog entry here.

Typically, all my Christmas decorations are taken down and boxed away by midnight on 12/26 but they are still up. I think this is due to a complicated combination of me not wanting this holiday season to end, and the fact that I ingested so many types of food in such vast quantities that it left me completely comatose yesterday by 7 PM. It was quite a gluttonous sight- so much so that I'm contemplating, just for fun, to see how much food I can actually consume between now and New Year's Eve.

Anyway, still riding our Christmas high, Megan and I decided to watch A Christmas Story last night (okay, who am I kidding, it was late yesterday afternoon since I was comatose and in bed by 8PM). It seemed like every two minutes Megan felt the need to comment, "That kid just said a bad word." or "Did that Dad just say a bad word?" or "That's a bad word, isn't it?" And you know what? She was right. I guess I never noticed but the dad in that movie has a filthy, filthy mouth. Not that I have any room to talk. I've been known to throw down my fair share of potty mouth, but I just have a pretty good filter so I usually don't slip up in front of the kids. Then during the scene where Ralphie mistakenly says the "F" word, or "The F, dash, dash, dash word" Megan asked me, "What is the F word anyway?"

"Oh,that's not a word you need to know so I'm not going to say it." I said.

She thought for a moment. "Does it have a U in it?"


"Does it have a C in it?"


"Does it have a K in it?"


"I know what that word is."

"How do you know what that word is?"

"I saw it spray painted on the tennis courts last summer. It was right next to a mushroom."


And I left it at that. It was time to shut off the movie and go to bed. After tucking the kids in, I flopped into bed. A moment later, I heard Jack walking down the hall. A band aid on his thumb fell off and needed a replacement so I helped him out. As he got back into bed, he bumped his head on his top bunk and a mini- post-Christmas-meltdown ensued. I went to grab an ice pack and upon my return Jack informed me of the following:

"Three bad things happened to me today. First, I forgot my blanket and had to go all the way downstairs to get it. The second thing is that my band aid fell off. And the third thing is that I bumped my head and needed an ice pack."

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


Badass Geek said...

For some reason, even though you wrote "A Christmas Story", I read "It's A Wonderful Life", and I just couldn't picture that movie being spattered with swear words.

I'm glad I realized I read it wrong.

The Floydster said...

I have finally found you! I've appreciated the times you've left remarks on posts of mine. I've spent the last 45 minutes reading you ~ the funny things your family has said and the latest. I also watched Jack ponder heaven and read your entry of the first Christmas without your mom. I am so there ~ you described perfectly what it was like the first Christmas after my dad died. You are a rich woman. I hope your breaking down the Christmas decorations goes well, and that the last week of 2008 is filled with more joy and laughter than you could ever have imagined!

For Myself said...

I know that word too! Unfortunately, that filter you speak of? Mine got lost somewhere and I can't find it no matter how hard I search! Fuck.

Sorry Jack had a bad day. Tomorrow's looking up. Sweet dreams, little man.

Carolyn...Online said...

Man I wish I had a better filter for my potty mouth. Megan would know LOTS of words if she lived with me.

Threeundertwo said...

I'll join you on that quest to see how much food we can consume between now and New Year's Eve.

My kids finally got to see "Christmas Vacation" this year. Potty mouth (and finger) galore, but it was hilarious to them.

DCD said...

It's true about the swearing in that movie. But I really love that movie. It has edged out "It's a Wonderful Life" in my must-see every year Christmas movie list.

amelia said...

Christmas = childbirth - I have heard no better comparison.