Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The world (in 2008) according to Jack

I have a confession to make. I'm a Twitterer. I find it to be a handy little tool for keeping up with co-workers, voyeuristically glimpsing into other people's lives and hunting down people (lilsass knows what I'm talking about!). But most of all, I use it as a way to capture interesting or funny things my family says. Sometimes those entries turn into a blog post but sometimes they just are what they are- a snippet in time of something I found funny.

So as we round out 2008, I wanted to capture my favorite "Tweets" (I know, I sound super geeky using word like "tweets".) from Jack. Here they are in no particular order.

Jack- " I like Backyardigans. They are animals that are standing up with clothes!"

Jack: I want to go to Toys R S. Jay: It's Toys R Us. Jack: Toys R S? Me: Toys R Us. Jack: Toys R Us? I like Toys R S better.

Jack: "is Twerp a bad word?" Me: "It's not a nice word, where did you hear it?" Jack: "From the talking bug in our yard."

Me: "Jack, you are one of the happiest kids I know." Jack: "That's because I like just about everything...except girl stuff."

Jack: "We aren't friends anymore. He got jealous about me. He says potty words & said my head was shaped like poop & called me poophead."

After I told Jack that I was in Texas he asked, "Isn't that where all the cowboys live?"

Jack as he rides by on his scooter: "Momma did you know survive means to last until you get killed?" Hmmm..

Jack told me yesterday he doesn't like raspberries because "they are too hairy".

Jack was counting this morning and paused to tell me, "Zero is the first number when you don't say anything."

Jack: "These are yummy! There is a party in my tummy."

Jack: "That thing was at the bottom. Daddy, I didn't mean the potty word bottom...I meant the good word bottom."

Jack: "Daddy you can never go where there is's DANGEROUS!" (he meant construction, not instruction)

Jack: Daddy, guess what- Bampa wastes money on tools. He wasted a lot of it. I'm serious. Jay: He doesn't waste it, he spends it.

Jack: If you have 2 eyes you can see a bunch of things at a time.

Jack: Sometimes I pee sitting down because my feet are tired.

Jack said he was cold when I put him to bed so I gave him another blanket. He asked if humans hibernate with blankets.

Jack: Do girls have moustaches? Me: Sometimes but they get rid of the hair if they do. Jack: How? Me: They pull the hairs out. Jack: WHAT?!?

Jack: Did you know earth worms have zero gravity?

Jack: if someone tries to steal your kid, you should just say "operation laugh time" and tickle them in the armpit. Me: yeah, that'll work!

Jack: If you are super scared, that is called frightened. Like if you are reading a book and someone pops up behind you, that's scary.

Jack: When are you going to be done on the computer? Megan: When I feel like I'm done. Jack: When are you going to be done? Meg: When I feel like I'm done. Jack: When are you going to be done? Megan: When I feel like I'm done. Jack: When are you going to be done? Megan: WHEN I FEEL LIKE I AM DONE!. Jack: Yelling in the house? That's only appropriate for outside!

Me: Jack what are you doing? Jack: Going upstairs to do nothing.

Jack: Can I touch your belly button? Me: No Jack: My belly button's not private. You can stick your finger in it. You want to? Me: No thanks

In the basement b/c of tornado warning. TV announcement on and Jack says, "Doesn't the TV know we are in our basement already???"

Jack: Momma, I hear lots of crickets tonight. You know, when crickets get together at night, they get in a group and they...crick.

Add this to the list of things I never thought I would hear from a 4 year old- "why can't I bring my numchucks to school???"

Jack was tired and acting a bit naughty. I asked him what was happening and he said, "When I am tired my brain doesn't work right."

Jack to his dad: Daddy, you are so lucky to have a boy that is such a great helper!

Jack: I don't think I should go to school today because I'm not even hungry.

Jack: We should have something warm for dinner so we can hiver-nate. (he meant hibernate)

Jack is 5 and just asked me, "Do you think Comcast is better in HD?" Who is this kid???

Jack on the way to his B day party- "this is the greatest day of my life... I have a lot of greatest days of my life."

Jack: Can Michael Phelps swim under water? Me: Yeah, he's like a fish. Jack: I'm more like an alligator

Reminder that life can be simple- Jack:When I get older you can buy me a thermos, right? Me: Yes. Jack:Yippee then you can make me noodles!

Jack: "when I grow up and become bigger, then I turn into an old man and get smaller." He's getting it figured out.

Jack: Mommy, you want to snuggle? Me: sure! Jack: Well get your entire body over here then!

Jack: Gonzo (from the Muppets) is a woodpecker but his pecker got bended.


Carolyn...Online said...

It's so great that you have these nuggets! I have too many favorites. I love that kid.

Ms Picket To You said...

i think i like jack more than my own kids. i also think since this post should go viral immediately: it made me just instantly happy. and one more thing: this is the best reason for twitter EVER.

bernthis said...

Another reason I'm a crappy mother. I wish I wrote this stuff down. How adorable is your son?

For Myself said...

Talking bug??? No school when you're not hungry?!? Bent pecker?!?!? UNprivate belly-button?!?!?!?

How much? Name your price & I'll buy him. No, much?

DCD said...

I don't have the technical capabilities to twitter. But now I want them!! These are priceless! What a great kid.