Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The world (in 2008) according to Megan

Megan also had her fair share of doozies in 2008. Here are some of my favorites.

Looking at yearbook with Megan. Me: "Look at that kids picture! Can you say Re-Do?" Megan: "Stop it Mom. I think he's in Special Ed." Oops

Me to Megan-"Miss America is on tonight." Megan: "What's that?" Me:"A beauty contest." Megan: "That's weird."

Jay and Megan are playing Yahtzee. She actually just yelled, "IN YOUR FACE!" Who is this child???

Megan to Jack after she wiped out and got a Hannah Montana band aid: "I'll bet you wish you were bleeding!"

Megan: Can I invite my friend over so we can cut some fruit in half? Me: Huh? Megan: Well, so we can observe it, you know- the seeds n stuff

Driving in the car and Jack was looking in Megan's direction babbling about Backyardigans. Megan said, "Jack! WHO are you talking TO??"

Eating frozen yogurt and I told Megan to hurry up. Hey response: Hey relax! I'm almost finished.

Megan's making toast- Me: It might burn if you walk away. Meg: (watching the toast) This is boring.

Megan: First we played Capture the Flag, then Refrigerator tag, then SPUD then we just started chasing people! I guess anything can be fun.

Megan: Mom, how do you spell evil? Me: E-V-I-L Megan: Thanks. Me: Whoa, wait... why do you need to know that? Megan: I'm making a movie.

Told Megan she was sooo high maintenance & I felt sorry for her husband. Megan: Well, I'm too young to get married and I don't have a husband.

Megan just walked by me dragging a huge chair. When I looked up from my computer, she said, "Don't even ask..."

Me: Megan, why don't you like kisses? Megan: Which kind? Giving or receiving? Me: Either. Megan: Because kisses are slimy.

Jay: Jack said he wanted Red Robin for dinner. Megan: No he said (air quotes) The Red Robins.

Megan: Mom, why do you need lipstick at a time like this???

Me: I'm trying to get feedback on that. Megan: What's feedback? Me: When people tell you what they think. Meg: I don't wanna know about it.

Megan after looking at my writing: First of all, never be a teacher because I can't read your writing and I can read most writing.

Meg: Love the fish, hug and kiss the fish.. Jay: Kissing fish isn't part of being a chef. Megan: Yes it is. You need to love your ingredients.

Megan: I know why that guy has a boat with only two seats. He probably like has a girlfriend or something.

Megan eating Quaker Caramel Rice Cakes: "I pretty much like any food with that Quaker guy on there."

Megan: Girls and Boys have different eyes. Me: How so? Because of the make up? Megan: Nope. Girls eyes are just

Meg: What's Blue Moon? Me: It's a brewery. Do you know what a brewery is? Meg: Yeah, it's a place that makes beer. I watch TV you know.

Megan: Mom if you were going to be in the Olympics, what would you do? Me: Gymnastics. Megan: NO! Something you can *actually* DO!

Meg: Mom, this kid at school said something weird. He said, "It's up your butt and around the corner." I think he was talking about my poop.

Megan: See this boy here (points at a kid in her yearbook)? He goes to one of those "smarticle" schools.

Megan: I feel the wind in my hair, the light on my face, and the carrot in my mouth.

After Megan let one rip this morning, she informed me, "I did NOT eat a taco!"

Me: You know what time it is? Megan: Time to wax my butt? Me: No, I meant bedtime.

Megan: Sometimes I feel bad that we aren't Japanese. Me: Why? Megan: Because they have respect and take their shoes off inside. Me: Huh?

Made the mistake of asking Megan what she wanted for lunch. She turned and yelled, "I'm NEVER EATING WHEAT BREAD AGAIN-EVER!" Alrighty then.

Megan to her friend, "Did you watch 60 minutes with Obama last night? I did and I read this article about him. I like Obama." Uh...she's 7

Megan: Mom, if you don't want to get me presents for Christmas, I also accept gift cards... And money

Me to kids: What are you thankful for? Jack: Um, I'm thankful for you, Daddy, Megan and all the things of the world. ...pause...Megan: Uh, Pumpkin Pie.

Meg: Can I have a cookie or two? Me: You can have a cookie. Meg: Did you say cookie or cookie plural as in two? Me:Did you just say plural?

Megan shut the car door on Jack's face this morning. Me: Megan!!! Megan: What? Don't yell at me! He put his face there! It's not my fault.


Badass Geek said...

Darn white bread... What a trouble maker.

DCD said...

"Wax my butt?"

Crack me UP!!

Anonymous said...

OMG. This is friggin' hilarious.

I was noting my favorite ones so I could mention them here, but DANG - I lost count!!

Carolyn...Online said...

I know that technically, if we count in real time, Megan is seven. But when I compare her to MY seven year old she just seems so much... wiser. Maybe mentally she's actually thirteen.

Becca said...

Megan: Mom, if you don't want to get me presents for Christmas, I also accept gift cards... And money


For Myself said...

I want to watch her movie when it comes out. If I'm not too busy watching my fruit. But I will NEVER be watching my toast. Unlike watching fruit, that's boooooorrring.

She's truly all THAT. That was awesome!

Ms Picket To You said...

carolyn is wrong: megan is wiser than me and i am 38.

also: funnier.