Monday, January 26, 2009

Keep your raisins away from Jack

Jack has a new obsession with babies. His teacher at pre-school recently announced she is having a baby and the topic of babies is a common one at pre-school, and at home. The fixation on babies has taken shape around our household in a number of ways.

The other day, Jack was sitting at the counter eating his lunch which included raisins. He picked up one of the raisins and showed it to me. "Mommy, Is this how small babies are to start?" I turned around briefly to see what he was showing me. "Yup," I responded and went back to balancing the checkbook. A few moments later, he said, "Look Mom, I just ate your baby!" I thought for a minute about mentioning that humans don't usually eat their babies, but then I thought, what would be the point of that discussion so I just left it alone.

A couple days later, we were waiting at the bus stop for Megan's bus to come. Jack had quite an insight. As the bus pulled up and we watched Megan get on, Jack said, "Mommy, God made us all look different so when like, kids are on a school bus, the parents won't pick up the wrong kid." I thought about that for a moment. And you know, he does have an interesting point there so I told him, "You know Jack, you are right. I suppose that is one reason why." Jack just continued to nod and added, "Uh huh, because if we all looked the same, everyone would be exactly the same."

And then a few days later, after the kids were done getting dressed for school, Jack was laying on my bed moaning. Megan and I walked by and looked at him curiously to see what the deal was. I was sure he was going to tell me he had a stomach ache but when Megan asked him what was wrong, he grabbed his stomach and said, "I think I'm having a baby. I can feel something moving." Megan shook her head at him and said, "Jack, boys don't have babies." He looked a bit disappointed at that fact and then told us, "Well, maybe it's a tapeworm."

The following day, Jack was back at it. I was checking him in for pre-school and he just couldn't stop talking about babies and how babies grow inside you. A couple other parents walked by and heard our conversation and snickered in that thank-goodness-it-is-you-having-that-conversation-and-not-me kind of way. "You know," he said, "the babies just grow inside you and then when they are ready to come out, you go to the hospital and then you just buy the kid at the hospital. That's how it works."

I just kind of nodded in agreement and said, "Well, that's sort of how it works." To be honest, I'm not so much worried about the discussions about how the babies get *out*... but more about how the babies get *in*. But I can tell it's heading that direction and it's just a matter of time before I have to have "the talk". Ugh.


Badass Geek said...

If having a baby was as easy as going to the hospital and picking one up, my wife would have had triplets by now.

Lori said...

I am laughing. Hard. At least he was writhing in pain while pretending to have "his" baby... very empathetic of him. You are going to have to tell me what to say in case he smothers ME with questions, because you know without a guideline I will accidently go full truth and scar him forever.

Becca said...

maybe its a tapeworm, HA!

Ms Picket To You said...

all my kids have asked me how the babies come out -- especially after seeing a friend's c-section scar, but not one has asked how they get in. except it has dawned on the oldest that you don't in fact need to be married. uh oh. time's a ticking.

Anonymous said...

hilarious!!!!! love it!

claud said...

oh buen that was me, claud commenting -- not anon! usually I can't post for some reason so I clicked anonymous! jack is super funny!