Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Oh look kids! It's a real life shoplifter!

I love when real life presents me with an opportunity to teach my kids a life lesson. Tonight we ran up to Target to get a couple birthday gifts for some upcoming parties Megan and Jack will be attending. It was a quick trip. We ran in, grabbed our stuff and headed out. It may have been the fastest trip to Target ever. Okay, I take that back. It may have been the fastest trip to Target where we *actually* purchased something. I've had a quick trip to Target in the past that ended in me carrying Jack out under my arm like a football while he screamed hysterically and wildly kicked at Megan the whole time we were walking out without actually purchasing anything. Ah, good times...good times.

As we left Target, I looked to my right and saw two police cars pulled right up by the door, about five police officers, two Target employees, and three very guilty looking teenage boys standing against the wall. I sprung into action. "Hey Megan and Jack, look over there, you see that? See those police officers over there?"

"Uh huh. What's going on?" They both responded in tandem.

"Those, my children, are SHOPLIFTERS! You know what a shoplifter is?" I didn't wait for them to answer. Instead I continued to stare and point as if we were looking at the lions at the zoo. "Shoplifters are people who take things from stores without paying for them."

"Are they getting in trouble?" Jack asked.

"Uh, yeah they are! They are getting ARRESTED and they will probably go to JAIL!"

At this point both Megan and Jack's eyes widened like saucers and they said, "Really???"

"Uh huh," I continued, "Look at that...those police officers are checking them for their stolen goods. Oooh- and now look! They are putting handcuffs on them. Whew, those guys are in a lot of trouble."

We piled into the car and I turned around to the kids, "Hey, you want me to drive around so you can get a closer look at those shoplifters?"

"YES!" The kids yelled in unison as if I just asked them if they wanted a gigantic ice cream sundae. So I pulled around slowly just as they were cuffing the last of the three teenagers. I swear I think Jack had his face pressed up against the glass to get a better look while Megan just whispered, "Cool!".

Life lesson complete. I proceeded to drive home to the onslaught of follow on questions about shoplifting, jail sentences, and my two favorite questions by Jack:

Q: What happens if you run from the police?
My answer: Well, you should never run from the police. They will think you are running because you did something wrong and they might shoot you.

Q:What about technology crimes? The police don't need their guns for technology crimes do they?
My thought: Technology crimes??? How do they know about "technology crimes"???


For Myself said...

Are you sending those guys money for teaching your kids that lesson, or did they just do that out of the goodness of their hearts?

Chairman Bill said...

Just make sure they're not hacking away on your computer, or you'll get the blame!

Badass Geek said...

Ah, shoplifters.

How I used to love to make them cry.

PS. New design looks sharp!

Aimeepalooza said...

Funny. I used to tell Baby G he would get arrested if he was out of his car seat. He responded wise in all his four years, "No Momma, you will."
At least I can say if your child decides to lead a life of crime it will be white collar. That's something, right?

MammaDawg said...


How in the world does Jack know about technology crimes?! lol - you've got your hands full, my friend - lol

Your post reminded me of a story 15 years ago... Mervyn's, my ex and me 8 months preggo... I might have to blog about it. ;)

MilesPerHour said...

Please have Jack call me and explain technology crimes to me. I think I'm too old to get it.

Ms Picket To You said...

technology crimes are when i say "GET OFF THE COMPUTER" and no one listens then I call the cops.

Carolyn...Online said...

You have just made Jack a future technology crime shoplifter. And he will be soooo good at it.