I've always wondered exactly what I should say once the time was upon us to explain the "Birds and the Bees". And when I say "us", I mean me because there is NO WAY Jay is going to take on that task. Actually, Jay and I tend to differ on the best approach. I'm of the tell them early and often mentality and Jay... well, let me put it this way- I think he once told me that he doesn't want our kid to be the one who is the first of his/her friends to know. He wants them to be "middle of the pack".
At any rate, I've always tried to create an environment where my kids are not ashamed of their bodies. We call their "stuff" by its real name and when my kids are um, "exploring" I usually turn a blind eye.
The other day, Jack was in the bathtub and Megan and I were in the bathroom with him talking about other things, not really paying attention to him. I could hear him chattering away to himself but I didn't pay much attention until he called out something that sounded like, "penis control".
Megan started to giggle and I looked over at Jack who was sprawled out on his back in the tub and clearly had a handle on his, uh...appendage.
I asked him, "What did you say, Jack?"
Jack, still fully hands on explained, "I said that my body is a robot and my penis is the remote control. See, I just grab it and when I move it, it controls my body."
Now, I don't have a penis myself (obviously) but well, the way he was handling that thing seemed to be a bit reckless in my mind. Megan was giggling uncontrollably at this point and her eyes were huge. She leaned over and whispered to me, "Mommy, um, what is that thing under his penis that looks like a balloon?"
"It's his (gulp) testicles."
Megan squealed and when I looked back over, Jack was now taking his finger and poking at his penis; it almost looked as if he was trying to stuff it back into his body. Jack heard Megan's reaction and looked at her as if she was crazy. "What? It feels good," he said defending himself.
This put Megan over the edge, "Mooom!!!!" she wailed.
"Megan, why don't you go put on your pajamas. Leave Jack alone. It's his body and he can do what he wants with it." I told her.
I let Jack have a few more moments
Double entendre, anyone?