Monday, December 28, 2009

2009 in review- Jack edition

In keeping with the annual review, here are what I consider to be the "best of" Jack's comments from 2009. I had a hard time choosing which to highlight but three things are apparent,
1) This kid is hilarious (but might be watching too much TV).
2) He loves his Momma!!!
3) He's obsessed with babies.

Jack: Why don't girls have a penis? Me: Because girls have
vaginas. Jack: What's an Angina?

Jack:Why does the cleaning lady talk weird? Me: It's not weird,
she has an accent. Jack: She had an accident?? Me: No, an accent.

During wrestling, Megan tossed Jack and he fell into Grandma.
Jack: Megan! No falling into old people!

Jack (frustrated with his Nintendo DS): I can't do this. It won't
work! Megan: So you are going to cry about it? Jack: NO! WRONG GUESS!!!

Jack showing me a raisin: Is this how tiny babies are to start?
Me: Yup. Jack eating the raisin: Look Mom, I just ate your baby!

Jack: I think I am having a baby. I feel something moving. Meg:
Boys don't have babies. Jack: Maybe it's a tapeworm.

Jack: God made us all different so when like, kids are on a bus
the parents won't pick up the wrong kid.

Jack: When you die, will you and Dad die together? Me:Probably not.
Jack: Who'll die first? Me: I don't know. Jack: I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Me: Uh...

The world according to Jack: "Bathrooms are private and no one
can bust you there for pulling down your pants."

Jack at the animal park: "I am tired of looking at birds. I want
to see something that eats birds."

Megan to Jack: How long were you crying about it? Jack: I don't
know...I can't tell time, yet!

Jack(processing his aunt's pregnancy):When the baby is hungry, it
swims up to the boobs for food. Me: Uh, not exactly...

Jack: Mom, did you know a beautiful girl is a baby? Me: Uh, you
mean a "babe"? Jack: Oh, yeah...that's what I meaned.

Jay refering to his dry skin: I need to lube up. Jack: What's a
loo butt?

Watching the kids play in the cul-de-sac. Jack just tripped and
fell and started yelling, "Man down! Man down!"

Me: Jack I think I need to give you a zerbert. Jack: No!!! I
don't like perverts!

Megan: Yahoo and Yoohoo are basically the same.
Jack: No, Yoohoo means hello and Yahoo is what cowboys say when they ride.

Jack called me to the top of the stairs & weepily said,"I've been
keeping a secret from you for a very long time...I'm afraid of the dark."

Jack quote of the day: It's not nice to call someone fat but you
can say they have a glandular problem, right?

Jack: I know how you get a baby. Me:Really? How? Jack:When you really
want one,you say with all your parts you want a baby & God hears you & gives you one.

Jack: Johnny Test is educational...Did you know there are more
dust mites in a little boy's room than all the people on the planet?

Jack this morning: Mom, can you scratch my butt? Me: Uh, ok.
Jack: Can you scratch up in the crack where it's itchiest? Me: No way!

Jack: You know what I'll say at people's parties?
Mama Mia! That's a good sandwich!

Jack about his first day of kindergarten: "If someone in my class
has a mullet,I won't say they have a bad haircut because that would be

Jack just came over to snuggle and told me to "shake my lady
lumps". I think I need to ban him from the Black Eyed Peas.

Random thoughts by Jack, "I sometimes wish my underwear had

Me: This room is a disaster, you need to clean it up. Jack: I can
do that in a jiffy of a time!

This morning... Me: Bye Jack. Have a good day at school. Jack:
Bye Mom! You have a good day at work (pause,pause). Don't get fired! Me:

Putting Jack to bed- Jack:Mommy,you know why I love you the
most?Me:Why? Jack: Because when I was borned, you were the first person I

Jack asked me which Bakugan I like. Me:The one with the small
head. Jack:You shouldn't pick on how they look,you should pick on

Upon seeing his Bampa, Jack shoved his hand down the back of
Bampa's pants.Bampa: What are you doing??Jack: I'm trying to give you a

Jack showed me a plastic spider this morning and told me, "But
this one only has climbing instincts. It doesn't shoot webs or anything."

After getting our new dog...Me: So what do you think of George?
Jack: I like him. I think me and him will be best pals!

Took dog out to pee and I looked over to see Jack peeing on a
tree. When I asked him what he was doing he responded, "That's what guys

Megan ignored a question from Jack. Jay: Megan why did you ignore Jack?
Jack:Because that's what big sisters do. They ignore their little brothers.

Jack just looked at me and asked, "Did you make me barf on a
plate last night?" (For the record, it was a bowl...)

Deep thoughts by Jack. Me: What are you thinking about Jack? You
look like you are deep in thought. Jack: (pause...pause...) A sandwich.

Jack after watching James Bond:The inappropriate part was when
James Bond kissed the girl and then she started stripping down.Is that

Watched Home Alone w/ the kids.When a burglar gets nailed in the
face w/ a hot iron,Jack turned to us and said,"That's gonna leave a mark!"

Listening to the song Halo in the car w/ Jack. Jack:What's a
Halo? Me:It's a... Jack(interrupting me):Is it another word for your

Jack as he watched his dog uh..."Clean himself": Look at George
clean himself! He must think he tastes good!

Jack just told me he thinks his privates look like a Hersey's
Kiss. I don't even know what to say to that.


x said...

Just Jack being Jack. I'm glad you find him as hilarious as us who aren't his mothers find him. Most my friends who have kids have learned to block out their silly comments where I'll be LMAO and asking if maybe just their kid can over next time. :)

just making my way said...

Clearly I need a better way to keep track of the things my kids say because this?? Hysterical! What a hoot that kid is!!!

Happy New Year to you all!

Michelle said...

This is my first time here, so I've never 'met' Jack before, too bad because he is hilarious and so sweet! I actually laughed out loud and not just lol'ed.
You are blessed hun!