Thursday, December 30, 2010

2010 in review- Jack edition

Here is the list of my favorite tweets that had to do with Jack.

Jack's wearing a hooded sweatshirt backwards. Megan: what's up w/ your shirt? Jack(enthusiastically): It's a Snuggie!!

Jack made a few changes to his usual McDonalds order then declared, "in 2010 there is going to be a lot of changes for me."

Jack just asked if a guy was Don Knotts. When we looked, he said, "Made ya look!!!" (He's 6-how does he know who Don Knotts even is???)

Jack this morning: It took me too long to come downstairs because I had the longest pee in history and then George wanted some loving.

Jack said the dog came over and sat beside him and said, "Jack, my life is hard." Jack's reply: I told him my life is hard too.

My heart is breaking. Jack just asked Megan, "Do you wish you had a life without me?"

According to Jack, this is what Plumbers look like when they are fixing the sink.

While lounging on a chair, Jack just told me, "Getting up is sooooo last year."

Jack after coming back from the bathroom: I took a sixty. Me: What's a sixty? Jack: It's a reeeaaalllyyy long pee.

Words of wisdom by Jack. After looking at Jack's report card Jay asked: Why do you think you did so well? Jack: By being cool.

Talking about take your kids to work day and Jack turns to me, "I'm not sayin' *your* job is boring, but for a kid, it's probably boring."

Jack:When I grow up,I'm going to have lots of jobs & then I'm going to quit them.Then I will sing a song called,"It's none of your beeswax."

Me:You should write down lyrics to your songs. Jack:I just got another song idea. Me:What? Jack:It's a song called"stop telling me lyrics".

Jack: I'm not saying this to be mean, but uh...intelligent adults should be smart enough not to argue.

Jack after showing me his Lego creation that "cuts people in half":Mom, I know what you are thinking.I've taken it a bit too far this time.

Jack:I love George. He's a little good, a little bad, a little snuggly, and a little mean. He's the perfect dog!

Jack:You should wear make-up when you want to get a boyfriend.Then they see you and say,"Oooh, I've gotta date her!That's what I'd say."

Jack: On bikes, you actually need a helmet. On a scooter, they are more of an accessory.

Jack: Mom, you used to be bossy like Dad but when I was a baby in your tummy, I moved the veins of your heart to make you nicer.

Jack to his Karate teacher:I know a stance you haven't taught us yet (does Karate Kid move)...It's for kicking people in the face.

Jack after waiting a minute for Megan at the park: Can't you just ditch her? Just ditch her Mom.

Jack just took a bowl from the dishwasher and informed me,"This bowl is hot! Not sexy hot, just hot." Then Jack went on to say,"You should only have crushes on girls who are sexy hot. That's the best crush you can get. The sexy hot kind."

Jack: When I get old my rock n roll nickname will be Flaming Cut in Half Herron…actually Flaming Falcon. It's easier to remember.

Put Jack to bed tonight and I noticed he was wearing 2 pairs of underwear."I didn't have time to change this morning so I had to double it."

Jack:My favorite word is rad. My 2nd favorite is mathematical, and my 3rd favorite is shmowzow.Me:What's shmowzow?Jack:Dunno. Look it up.

At swim store and Jack keeps calling speedos 'water undies'.

Out of the blue Jack comes over to me and says

"I'm gonna give u some advice. Never trust anyone w/ a monocle."Alright then…

I'm not sure what to make of this but Jack just told me his "safe word" is butter-nut.

According to Jack, the Revolutionary War was "stupid" because they "should have just worked it out."

Enjoying listening to Jay explain Rocky Mountain oysters to the kids."Do U know what nuts are?" Jack: Is it the pink thing hanging under?

Jack pointing at cigars: Can I get one of those? Me:What are you going to do with it? Jack: I'm going to use it for its purpose!

Me: Jack where do you want your noodles? Jack: In my mouth.  (Whatever smarty pants)

Picture day today. Jack: I'm going to brush my teeth real good so I don't have bugs and dirt on them. And I don't want to get suspended.

Jack: I'm not scared of anything...except clowns...and monster babies.

Putting Jack to bed he cries out: Manhug! Jay: How do you feel about that? Jack: 50% awesome 50% lame.
Playing I Spy. Can't find Jack's. Jack: This is probably one of the worst performances of my career and you guys can't get it.

Megan playing around on the treadmill and I told her it's not a toy. Jack came to her defense and said, "She just wants to get worked out!"

Jack got serious air on a hill while going over a bump sledding today and proclaimed, "Today I broke an impossibility. I flew."

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