Wednesday, January 27, 2010

"The Talk"- Attempt Number One

Well, that didn't go the way I had hoped. *sigh*

I heard from a couple sources (neighbor & nanny)that there is a boy on Megan's bus who told her he wanted to "have sex" with her. I didn't want to appear to be a tattle-tail so I waited to see if she would bring it up...and I waited...and I waited. Then I tried to ask a few generic questions that might open the lines of communication including:

"Are there any boys on your bus that have a crush on you?"
"Who do you normally sit by on the bus?"

Nothing. Zip. Nada.

So I finally decided today while Megan was home sick, I'd just ask her about it.

Me: Megan, can I ask you about something?
Megan: Sure.
Me: I heard that there is a boy on your bus that was saying some things to you.
Megan:...
Me(stammering): You know, like um, things like, "I want to have (gulp) sex with you".
Megan: Uh huh. And he was saying other stuff to me, too.
Me: Really? Like what?
Megan: Um, things like, "You are pretty".
Me: Oh. How did he start saying those things?
Megan: We were playing telephone on the bus and he just started saying things like that.
Me: Why do you think he was saying that?
Megan: I don't know. Maybe because he's weird.
Me: Do you think he knows what it means to "have sex"?
Megan: I don't know.
Me: Do you know what it means to "have sex"?
Megan: No.
Me: Do you want to know?
Megan: No.
Me:Um, okay- well now that you are getting a bit older, I can tell you what it means if you are interested. I mean, when you get a bit older, there will come a time when you will want to know what it means and you can always ask me about it.
Megan: Huh?
Me: Well, um-I'm not sure if the boy knows what it means but when people are older, they use the words "have sex" to talk about how to make babies.
Megan: Eww. Gross.
Me: Do you want to hear more about that?
Megan: Um, no.
Me (backing out of the room slowly): Okay then, well just let me know if you want more details on that and we can talk about it.

That conversation certainly surpassed my expectations. It was even MORE awkward than I ever anticipated!

Friday, January 22, 2010

George the Disco Dog

We have a new member of our family. Back in late October, we brought home our newest addition, George.

Here is what he looked like when we brought him home.


And after a few months of having him around, he looks like this:


As he's grown, he's developed some, um... tendencies. Let me put it this way, sometimes he has an unnatural "attachment" to pillows. He loves them. And when I say he loves them, I mean he kind of uh, makes love to them. I had hoped when we got him neutered that it would have helped but no such luck.

The other day we had a my in-laws over and we were at the table eating dinner. All of a sudden Jack yells out, "Look at George! He's dancing!"

I wouldn't exactly call what he was doing "dancing" but Jack didn't seem to know the difference. Jack proceeded to call out to George, "Go George go!"

At this point, all of the adults in the room were practically peeing our pants laughing as Jack continued, "George is a disco dog!"

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Jinx!

One of the newer (well, newer to my kids) phrases is "Jinx". Whenever they both say the same word at the same time, one of them yells, "Jinx!". Then they can't say anything else until someone says their name.

But crafty little Jack recently put a new spin on the game of Jinx. I overheard Megan and Jack having a conversation the other day and when they both said the same word, Megan yelled, "Jinx!" Jack paused for a moment, turned to Megan and said, "You can't Jinx me. I have Jinx insurance!"

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Ish

"Ish" is the new word around here. It has become a normal part of Megan's vocabulary.

She uses ish as in, " (informal) In an unspecified state; somewhat; reasonably, fairly; about, approximately; (colloquial) Adds -ish to the object of the questionen.wiktionary.org/wiki/ish

Or like this morning, she came down fully dressed.
Me: Hey! You're all dressed and ready, huh?
Megan: Ish.

Friday, January 15, 2010

I think I might need to have a talk with the person who schedules the school field trips

Megan went on a field trip the other day with her class. After school, I asked her, "So, how was your field trip?"

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It was okay I guess...I got to smell an onion."

??? What do I say about that? I mean, really. When the highlight of a field trip is smelling an onion, it's got to be boring!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The kid must have the hearing of a dog

The other night when I was putting Jack to bed, he was pretending to fall down and roll around on the ground. After about the third time, he stopped and looked at me and said, "I just fell on The Situation."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well," he said. "Sometimes when people have big muscles they call that The Situation."

I immediately started to laugh because my son, my six year old son, was referencing Jersey Shore!!!

"How do you know about The Situation?" I questioned him because I know he's never actually seen the show. (Although I on the other hand can't stop watching it because it's like a slow-motion car crash).

"I overheard you talking to someone about it. You were saying people on the show have nicknames like Sweetheart and that the muscles are called The Situation."

I swear the kid must have the hearing of a dog!

Monday, January 11, 2010

The not-so-much-of-a-bucket-list


Um, yeah... so here's the thing. Megan may look more like Jay, but when it comes to organization and over-use of quotation marks, she's definitely got my DNA floating around in her.

I saw this on the counter this morning. It's what I would consider to be her not-so-much-of-a-bucket-list (seeing as she's attempting to get these items done by 8:00 PM).

The list consists of the following items:
1) Have breakfast
2) Watch "Nacho Libre"
3) Start "math poems"
4) Start "P.O.W."
5) Have snack
6) Read
7) Get dressed
8) Do page 156 in your Brain Quest workbook
9) Make something in art room
10) Clean room
11) Clean art room
12) Go outside and build snow fort
13) Change calendar and get calendar updated
14) Try to finish "changing door plate"
15) Have snack

Saturday, January 9, 2010

That Sucks!

As Megan gets older, she's hearing more "colorful" language. Last year, she came to us and asked if she could add the word hate to her vocabulary. Well, she's asked again. The word of choice? Sucks. She asked permission to be able to say "sucks". We actually had a lengthy discussion about it this morning.

Me: Hey Megan, why don't you ask your dad about that word you want to say?
Jay: What word is that?
Megan (hesitating): Well, um... I can't say the word!
Me: I give you permission to say the word once so you can ask if you can say it.
Megan (hesitating): Well, um...uh...
Me: If you can't bring yourself to ask to say it, then you probably aren't old enough.
Megan came closer and fidgeted around a bit.
Megan: Uh, lots of people say things like, "That sucks."
After a bit more awkward conversation about it...
Jay: It's all about where you say the word. For example, take the word poop. Never have I used the word poop at work.
Me: I'm going to say the same thing to you as we said when you asked to say the word hate. If you are mature enough to say the word in the right context, then I think it's fine. Let me give you a few examples and you tell me if "That sucks" is an appropriate response.
Megan:...(rolling her eyes)
Me: Your teacher gives you a lot of homework. You say....?
Megan: No!
Me: You are on the playground with your friends and one of them is taking too long on the swings. You say...?
Megan: Yes?...Maybe????
Me: It's fine. Your mom cooks a great dinner. You say...?
Megan: No!
Jay: Your mom cooks a crappy dinner?
Megan: Still no!
Jay: Right answer.
Me: So I think you've got the idea. It's fine.
Megan (visibly excited to have added a new word to her vocabulary): Okay!
Jay: But you can always use sucks after the word Packers.
Megan: Okay!
As Megan ran off to watch some TV and bask in the glory of her victory, I called after her, "See! Now that conversation didn't suck!"